The practice is actually fairly simple. In all cases, you find a way to be kind to yourself. Kindness is something most of us already know how to do, because we have done it with others. We can be kind to a loved one, a stranger, a friend, a neighbor. We just need to try it with ourselves sometimes.
So here’s the rule: kindness to yourself, always. Even when you fail at the rule, be kind to yourself for failing to be kind. Some ways to be kind to yourself:
- When you mess something up, give yourself compassion (the feeling of compassion in your heart, wishing yourself happiness), letting it sooth your pain.
- See the good heart in yourself, whenever you feel you fell short or let others down. See the good intentions, whenever you make a mess of things. See that you are basically a good person.
- When you look at your flaws (“ugh, I hate my belly”), see the beauty in them. Find gratitude for what you do have, instead of focusing on what you don’t have or don’t like. For example, isn’t it amazing to have a body? I love that I have a body that can move, breathe, see sunlight and trees, hear music and laughter, feel sun on my skin and grass under my feet. What a wonder, and we take it for granted.
See your goodness. Be grateful for yourself. Love your good heart. Be compassionate with yourself when you’re hurting. And always … try to show others kindness in return. We never truly know what might be going on inside.